Here we go again... Part 2.

    So here I am again. Trying this thing where I try to live healthier. We have our ups and downs and some have it more than others. I can't explain why, but the only thing we can really do is to get up off our butts and just have another go.

     I just recently came back from a trip to Costa Rica. I had a great time with my friends. I ate well, zip-lined, did some white water rafting and rode an ATV up to the mountains. As boys will be boys, a friend took a very unflattering picture of me while I took a nap in the car. When I discovered this picture later, I could not believe how much I let myself go. You can say it was a real eye opener and my jaw just about dropped to the floor. It's by far the most embarrassing picture I have ever seen of myself. It haunts me and it will always.

     Now that I am back home, it feels good. I made a vow on the flight back to the US that I will make a better effort to start this blog back up and continue my progress. Not only will I try to eat healthier and exercise more, but I will be changing my daily habits that have continued to suck my life out dry. I have always had a dirty and messy room/ car, but with my overall life and environment, I intend to improve. I always thought that if I can improve the way I am and the environment I surround myself in, i.e. my home, room and car, that I would have less stress and I can have more control of my life. I think I have struggled with eating, exercising and maintaining a clean, less materialistic life. The goal is to improve day by day and I hope I can finally stop making excuses.

Wish me luck.. again.. *sigh*

The motivation is here again...

June 2, 2011....

A new day and new opportunities arise. I can't really explain to you how many times I have been in this situation, but the truth of the matter is that I am inconsistent. Getting to a healthy state of mind is a struggle. It's easy to say you can do it and think of all the ways you want to get there. Putting the time and heart into it is extremely difficult.

I got sidelined with a knee injury, back injury and shoulder injury. BOOM. DONE. WTF NOW? Let's eat. Then eat again. And again. Eat some more until my sorrow goes away.

I had my body fat test recently just to see where I'm at. To my luck I have 30% body fat. Yes, I said luck. Sarcastically. Now as I type here on this MacBook Pro, mixed emotions come into my mind on how I want to live my life. I can still live this tiring life of complacency and accept the food that I love to eat. But what good would that do? I live a good life. I have a good job that pays well, or pays my bills well haha. I have a beautiful girlfriend who loves me and I have a roof over my head. But until I can change my unhealthy side of my life, I will never be the man I thought I can be. Not for me, my girlfriend whom I love and my friends and family who care about me.

I don't know. I'm motivated again, but I hate failing again at this. I know I'm not obese, but this is not a good road I am taking. Baby steps.

December to remember. Awesome-ness!!

My blog----->   http://140-160andbackagain.blogspot.com/

I wanna keep this short and simple. 

2010 has been a year of ups and downs. I have learned so much about myself and the strengths and weaknesses I possess. I've been impressed by what I can accomplish and the love people have given me. I am blessed by every passing moment and even though it wasn't the better of years, I am still here and can honestly say I have become a better person. 

I have traveled around the world, lived in 3 different countries and had the honor of competing in the sport of cycling throughout Europe. It's been great. But honestly, when I look back, nothing compares to the moments I have with you guys. The minutes or seconds with you, getting to know you more on a deeper level.  So, thank you to all my friends who have been there for me. Thank you to all the new friends I have made and to those I will become friends with. I am grateful for my health and the chance to live a fulfilling life. I am grateful for my new job and a roof over my head. Thank you for all the wonderful memories. Thank you for showing me the many fun things about life. Thank you for everything. Thank you thank you thank you... 

Thank you to everyone who have read my blog and continues to. Thank you for your support and I apologise I haven't been consistently writing. It's been a rough November and December for me, but I continue to move forward. You will see more entries for January and I will have you guys in my heart with your thoughtful comments and advice. You guys have made me a better person and I in turn owe you guys big! 

No cheesy lines to end this blog entry, except to say... I hope to see you all soon, HAPPY NEW YEAR and I will talk to you soon. Be safe, ciao!! 

Music makes the world go round. Right??

(picture from http://www.meditate-on-it.com/meditation-music.html)

Music makes the world go round and it certainly helps me throughout my day. When a hint of a crappy day is around the corner, music comes and snatches that piece of s**t away. I can just whistle a tune  or sing a disney song and boom, I feel that much better at work. Once music grabs you, you're on a whole new planet. I cannot imagine anyone saying that music does not inspire. If you are that one person, I truly am sorry for you, but I would be happy to help you find a song that will. Music are like clothes, it can fit you to any occasion. lol.

This past week, I read a story about a man who had a goal of owning 100 things. This includes, socks, toothbrush, books, dvds, etc.. He was inspired to live minimally and felt owning too much possession can be distracting. In a way, I agree and I just felt I had too much junk that I have been lazy to get to and sort out. I finally mustered enough strength and will power to overhaul my home and sort out my stuff. Now I'm not going to own 100 things, but I've been sorting out what I really need and what I can live without. We always think we need to hang on, but we really don't. We feel so deserving of something and maybe because we worked so hard for it, but it's still a material item. We shouldn't be too attached to our possessions; they all and come and go. We get something new, we love it for a bit, then we get used to it, complacent and comfortable and then we want something new.  Anyway, if only I was able to take a before and after picture though. That would have been really cool because I gotta tell you, there was a huge difference, almost night and day. I'm not just done yet, but I am more than 50% done with this home. (Sigh of relief again)

Everyday for breakfast, I've been making sure I eat a healthy one. I have been eating cereal with either reduced fat milk or soymilk in a bowl and with either OJ or water. Last time, I said I'm going to take it slow with this whole eating healthier thing. Just putting yourself out there and going all out can really burn you out. So with eating a good breakfast and keeping it different everyday, I actually look forward to eating something good for me in the morning. They say variety is the spice of life and I have to agree. Eating the same thing everyday can be so traumatising and keep you away from certain food, like me and Subway. Lesson learned. Variety variety variety! Next, different snacks.

Before I go, I have to say. It has been a relief to hear from the Orthopedist saying that my xrays of my knee are negative. For now, a physical therapist will be working with me and hopefully that'll do the job. HOPEFULLY! If not, next plan of action, TBA. I've been resting my knee when not at work, and when I need to exercise, I just use the elliptical and/or swim. I always said I wanted to get back into competition and maybe ucla's master swim team can be in the future? Time will only tell.

Finishing December strong.

Lately, I've been thinking about my birthday. And even though it wasn't the most glamorous or festive of usual birthdays, I thought it was one of the best birthdays by far. Everything was simple but meaningful. At the stroke of midnight, I took my dog out for a walk. Nobody was outside and it felt like it was just Forza and I in the world. It was quiet, still and I was able to think with a clear head and imagine all the possibilities in my life.

Taking that back to today, my birthday gave me a glimpse of what can become of today and tomorrow with hard work, determination, humbleness, and gratefulness. With 2011 coming around the corner, I want to finish off this month with a bang. I took my birthday as a motivating factor to be stronger as a person at 27. Now with just three weeks left, I CANNOT let up now. Most people look to January as the time to start fresh and work on our goals. But for me, I wanna finish strong NOW so for 2011, I can come into the new year with more confidence (hopefully) and lean with a new swag, lol.

I have to say, work has been less stressful. I feel I've been able to get through work more and more without stressing out. Yes it's mostly good stress, but I know we can all due without most of it. Recently, I've learned about people in Ethiopia and how some of them have to walk miles just to get something to eat, go to school or barter goods. I personally can't imagine walking 20 miles just for something I can pick up locally with my car. But thinking about them and how I don't want to take things for granted really got my mind working and not complaining at work. "So and so yelled at me and is telling me this and that..." 'Ya??? Well, my son just walked 20 miles to get our family a few glasses of water in the sun. So I guess I can understand where you're coming from.' --- so ya,  complaining doesn't seem so appetizing to me right now.

On another note, I've still been trying to eat healthier. I've definitely been inconsistent. My knee has been holding me back, which kinda got me down again leading to me eating bad mixes of consumable items. On the brighter side, I've decided to let medicine help me back with my recovery process. I don't want to work out just to get fitter without helping my knee out. It'll just backlash in the future. So today, I'm seeing my Orthopedist. What's the point of looking good for the sacrifice of a better knee? Nothing, cause a better knee will serve a better purpose in the future, like carrying my children and playing with them, or putting up our X-Mas tree. But anyway, wish me luck today!

Manny and the world of sports. Well kind of..

The good ol' days..

For the past two weeks, I've been trying my best to work out. Unfortunately for me an old friend visited just recently. The stiffness of my knee. The hidden pain the comes and goes when I work out my legs. But I am lucky it does not hurt or bother me when I work at the hospital.

Since the year 2006, I have been haunted by this pain. I used to compete in many triathlons and cycling races for years. It was my life and it was what consumed pretty much most of my time when I was not eating or studying. But after injuring my leg, I thought my life was over. For years I struggled to cope with the fact I was and probably will never be the way I was prior to the accident. After graduating from college, I was so depressed, I gained about 20 pounds and didn't even know it. Well that's until all of my clothes wouldn't fit.

No one ever teaches you about coping with injury. When an athlete gets injured, especially seriously high level injured, you still think you're Superman. You think that within one week, you'll be able to get back out there and just continue where you left off. I was wrong. Week after week, I kept dropping out in the middle of practice because my knee would hurt like hell. So I decided to stop showing up. It's hard enough to watch everyone do what they love while one is sidelined, helpless. Cutting myself off from both teams and from the world of bicycles, running and swimming was the only was I can get over it. I stopped talking to everyone and anyone associated with it. I didn't drink, but I ate and that's for sure.

I tried getting help from an Ortho Doc and a Chiropractor. Everyone had a different opinion and after repeated visits, without any progress, I started to realize they were probably keeping me around for the money. Who knows for sure, but the point is that I didn't feel better or stronger. I waited another year before I got help and that's when I saw a physical therapist. She definitely got the job done and got me going. I started to feel great until my insurance coverage with my mother expired. I didn't have enough money to continue on and I had many bills to pay. Since then, I never got help again.

I think that's another reason why I started this blog. I did this also for my knee, for the hope of getting my knee back to the state of getting back up and doing what I love to do, competing in sports. After watching Manny Pacquiao defeat Antonio Margarito, I started to reminisce about all the times I used to watch him from college and after, work my ass off in practice because of how much he inspired me. I feel no matter what what he does on that ring, he inspires not only every Filipino, but every person who aspires to be great. Wether that be in the kitchen, in class, in the hospital or out in the field. I don't know, but after watching the fight over and over this week, I have decided to get my knee back to the way it was years ago. I'm scared that it will never get better no matter what. But I have to try.

To those of you reading...I know many of you think this is a blog about me just losing weight, but I'm sorry to disappoint some of you... This is a blog about my journey and redemption to a better life that will hopefully inspire others. This blog is about overcoming those mountains we never thought we can climb. And right now, I'm on a road to see what else is out there when I step out of my comfort zone and try to achieve what I feel in my life is impossible.

I'll leave you guys with this trailor to the new movie "The Fighter"

Well... It's been a while. Wouldn't you say?

I hate to admit it, but. I said it. The "but" word, the excuse... BUT, after the last week of October working out, I started to get real fatigued and took a week to recover. During that time, I just ate like crap. Week after week I kept putting off my workouts. Those late nights partying, staying up until 3 or 4 in the morning, I thought I could just get up early the next day and have an intense work out without suffering from lack of sleep or recovery. But I thought wrong and it pains me to say that I have failed again.

It's crazy that it's been a few weeks since I last posted. I really didn't know what to say to all of you. How I slacked off and it felt good to eat chinese fried rice every day? How I might have let some of you down who were counting on me? It's a weird feeling. I just want to say, I'm still here trying to make up for some lost time, so don't lose faith in me just yet.

I find myself anxious every time my house is a mess. I can't think, do work, and at times can't sleep when I know my environment is a mess. I know it's easier to clean a messy home than to maintain a clean house. I don't want to blame it all on the mess that led me to my first failed attempt to keep a consistent healthy-style living, but I reallly hate living in a dump.

This last week, I took the time to clean and donate a bunch of my belongings to Goodwill. I never realized how much more junk I owned and junk that was rarely used. It is a relief to get rid of some stuff. I hold such ties to material things, that every once in a while it's good to let go and not look back. This place is looking a lot better.

As you can see, I didn't place any pictures of myself here with the progress. I saw no point if I didn't do anything. I can tell you, I'm at about 153 and not feeling that great. I can feel the effects of eating junk food. I feel less energetic and I feel lazier. My stress level did go up for a while, but that is another topic I want to discuss next time. Whether we know it or not, we encounter stress daily. Some are more pronounce than others, but still affect us the same way.

Until next time... I apologise if this post is lame. I feel a bit embarrassed to even be writing this.. Ciao.